Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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