I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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