Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
