I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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