ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
