i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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