I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
