i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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