The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
