but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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