Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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