I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
