Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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