fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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