the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
