Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
