Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My breasts were aching with rage.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
