just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
