If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm sobbing to NWA
We need to get me chipped asap
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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