You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You may now shotgun with the bride
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
