You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
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Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
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I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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