singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
my shit smells like andre
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
