Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Your tits are I can't wait for
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
