Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
