Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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