someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
