we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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