The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
