is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
