You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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