I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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