So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
