Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she looked like the before picture.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
