one word: firstdatebathroomanal
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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