I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
