I got chris browned last night
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
