i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
why is half of my head shaved?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
