I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize