New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
now i know why i became what i already was.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
