so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
