i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
