No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
