I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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