I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize