Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Life is so much better after having sex.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
