just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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