i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
