I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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