I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
