definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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