Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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