I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
