I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
