why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
