whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
