i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
