gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
