My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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