Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Randomize
