OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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