Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
