i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
