I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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