Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
