Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
