I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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