Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
