This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
